"These Boots are Made for Walking" and "one of these days they're gonna walk all over you". That was my song, and that's what I did. Nancy Sinatra helped me walk all over the other Karaoke contestants to win the big prize, dinner for four at Boston Pizza. It was one of my finest moments. As I accepted my award in my 60's boots and blue eye make-up I just knew I had finally found my calling. My boots and I went on to win a number of Karaoke contests and eat some marvelous meals before I finally retired the blue make-up. I still Karaoke for fun but I am now ready to reveal my secrets to the next generation.
I know you are all thinking, how did I capture such desirable prizes? What are my Karaoke secrets? Well at the risk of losing my lucrative free dinner gigs to one of you, I will share my 10 secrets to Karaoke success.
Keep It Short
People in general have low attention spans, if the contest is in a bar even more so. Trust me; "Stairway to Heaven" has never won a Karaoke contest.Keep It Fun
People want to forget their troubles. Don't remind them with sad ballads and angry rock songs.Keep It Interesting
Don't sing a song that everyone has heard a million times like "Feelings" or "Crazy". Also don't sing anything overly obscure.Keep It Cheese-less
PLEASE do everyone a favour and leave "The Rose" and "Summer Nights" out of your karaoke repertoire. Keep It Solo
Groups never win and even if you did win, what if the prize was a diamond ring how do you share?Keep It Moist
Your throat. The last thing anyone wants to hear is a dry hacking cough magnified by a microphone. So drink plenty of water before going on stage.Keep It Pretty
Dress nice, put some makeup on (girls or drag queens only), comb your hair. Even if it's just in a church basement of your one stoplight town, you ARE performing and people like to have something nice to look at.Keep It Moving
Very few of us can captivate an audience with our voice alone and even American Idols have to move around to keep it interesting. So dance, snap your fingers, bob your head. Anything, just move!Keep It In Tune
Practice a bit and if you can't reach the notes don't sing the song.Keep It Stocked
The audience that is. Make sure you invite everyone you know who will vote for you. This is the best guarantee for a win.
I promise you, follow these tips and you too will be walking all over the other contestants and dining in style.
